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Protecting yourself and your family against pornography

I taught a lesson on "Protecting yourself and your family from pornography" today at church. Below are the resources I handed out and my lesson notes. Attached is a pdf of the slides.

Resources

  • http://combatingpornography.org
  • http://lightedcandle.org
  • https://tech.lds.org/wiki/index.php/Family_Safety
  • A Parents Guide (on lds.org)

Internet Filters

  • http://k9webprotection.com
  • http://opendns.com

Lesson Notes

Introduction

Is your wife beautiful?

If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things

Satan's counterfeit

Anything the Lord gives us that is beautiful or worthwhile, Satan counterfeits

Why is lust such a deadly sin? Well, in addition to the completely Spirit-destroying impact it has upon our souls, I think it is a sin because it defiles the highest and holiest relationship God gives us in mortality—the love that a man and a woman have for each other and the desire that couple has to bring children into a family intended to be forever. Someone said once that true love must include the idea of permanence. True love endures. But lust changes as quickly as it can turn a pornographic page or glance at yet another potential object for gratification walking by, male or female. True love we are absolutely giddy about—as I am about Sister Holland; we shout it from the housetops. But lust is characterized by shame and stealth and is almost pathologically clandestine—the later and darker the hour the better, with a double-bolted door just in case. Love makes us instinctively reach out to God and other people. Lust, on the other hand, is anything but godly and celebrates self-indulgence. Love comes with open hands and open heart; lust comes with only an open appetite. - Elder Jeffery R. Holland

Adultery

"whosoever looketh on a women to lust after her hath commited adultery with her already in his heart " Matt 5:28

Satan's counterfeit

Satan's counterfeit to love is lust.

Primary way he introduces us to lust is through pornography.

Bishop's letter

I invite you to sincerely ask yourself during this lesson why Heavenly Father would have you hear this lesson at this time. I know that this pervasive plague affects everyone in these ward boundaries. Whether directly, through a family member, a friend or neighbor, a home or visiting teaching companion, or through our callings each of us has the important need to listen and be taught today.

I testify that if you will diligently seek the Spirit during this lesson that you will receive the guidance and direction that Heavenly Father needs you to receive. For some of you it may be a call to repentance, for another a whisper to your soul to speak with a family member, or for others an idea on a Home Teaching lesson.

I promise you that with the inspiration of the Spirit and courage that the Lord will help you to remove yourself and others from this trap. I promise you that he will prepare the way before you to accomplish this important errand. - Bishop Anthony Perkins

Repentance

What is pornography

Pornography - the portrayal of explicit sexual subject matter for the purposes of sexual excitement and erotic satisfaction.

Doesn't help much does it?

Easier way to tell

Is the Holy Ghost present?

Does watching, reading, or listening to the material make you appreciate, love, and cherish your wife?

Turn it off

Quiz

  • Do your children know
    • what pornography is?
    • why pornography is bad?
    • what to do when they encounter pornography?
  • What happens in your home if
    • someone searches for pornography?
    • pornography is accidentally encountered?

Worlds standards changing

“Don’t see R-rated movies” - President Spencer W. Kimball - 1986

“Don’t see R-rated movies or vulgar videos or participate in any entertainment that is immoral, suggestive, or pornographic. - President Spencer W. Kimball - 1986

Satan pushing the boundaries

Harvard Study – 2004

“Today's PG-13 movies are approaching what the R movies looked like in 1992”

“Today's PG is approaching what PG-13 looked like a decade ago."

% R-13 movies increasing

Effects from Social Science

  • ieased callousness toward wo
  • trivialization of rape as a criminal offense;
  • distorted perceptions about sexuality;
  • increased appetite for more deviant and bizarre type pornography (escalation and addiction);
  • led to a devaluation of monogamy;
  • Effects from Social Science
  • decreased satisfaction with a partner’s sexual performance, affection, and physical appearance;
  • doubts about the value of marriage;
  • decreased desire to have children; and
  • viewing non-monogamous relationships as normal and natural behavior.

Not the results we want for ourselves and our families

Protecting Ourselves and Families

  • Put on the “Whole Armour of God”
    • Multi-layered defense
  • Model
  • Teach
  • Love
  • Protect them
    • Physical means
    • Technology

We have to teach

  • Our home is our castle
  • Our children
    • Leave for school, etc.
    • Grow up
  • Ability to make moral decisions crucial

Five years

The world will teach our children if we do not, and children are capable of learning all the world will teach them at a very young age. What we want them to know five years from now needs to be part of our conversation with them today. - Rosemary M. Wixom - Primary General President

Now is the time

Typical pornography addict first exposed at age 11

Have to teach our children before the world does

What and How to teach

“A Parent’s Guide”

Lord gave us sexuality

We have to present His side

Teach at child's pace

Honesty

Accuracy

Openness

No embarrassment

Protecting

Limit Media

Computers in public places

Don't share private information

Understand technology

Follow up

Spend time w/ Children

Family Council

Filtering

We must also act to protect those we love. Parents install alarms to warn if their household is threatened by smoke or carbon monoxide. We should also install protections against spiritual threats, protections like filters on Internet connections - Dallin H. Oaks - April 2005

Filters aren't perfect

Moral filter only perfect solution

Filters protect us from being weakened

Phones

Most phones have Internet

All the same risks apply

Most carriers provide parental controls to block and/or limit access

Sexting

Filtering Solutions

At the computer - K9 Web Protection

“By using my wife as the administrator with the password, I was able to kick a 20-year on-line porn habit.”

At the router - OpenDNS FamilyShield

Protects every device in home

K9 Web Protection

Available for Windows and Macs

Free

Easy

Customizable to family needs

Category

Specific sites

Time of day

OpenDNS Family Shield

Intercepts requests for unwanted content

Set up on router so protects every computer

Email

Lots of spam

Words you don't want to read

Filters available

http://www.techsupportalert.com/best-free-spam-filter-for-the-average-user.htm

Advertisements

Lots of low level pornography comes in advertisements

Block them

IE - IE7Pro

Firefox/Chrome - Adblock Plus

Goals

Every family

Install filters

Discuss problem and solution with Lord and wife

Teach children danger and protection

Home Teachers

We will ask for reports on your families next month

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